Where Have All The Men Gone?

Why have men abdicated their leadership roles at Catholic churches?

I attended Mass at my former parish tonight and the men were conspicuously absent.

Both lectors were women.

Four of the six ushers were women.

Four of the six Eucharistic Ministers were women.

Two of the three altar servers were girls.

This is happening across the nation, I just happened to notice it tonight at my former parish of 14 years.

Men, it’s time for you to engage and to lead.

It’s time for you to man up.

It’s time for you to speak up.

It’s time for you to stand up.

It’s time for you to be counted and known as someone who can be counted on.

All of the problems we face as a society would go away if men would be men.

That means to get your fat ass in shape, physically.

Don’t wait 30 days to put on 10 more pounds and make getting in shape your New Year’s Resolution, which you’ll delay until after the college bowls…and the NFL playoffs…and the Super Bowl…and…then you’re even fatter.

If you’re fat and out of shape, fix that now.

Right now.

Next: Stop emoting.

Yeah, yeah, it’s nice to be in touch with your feminine side, but we’ve had about enough of that the last 40-50 years, so give it a rest.

You can stream The Notebook in 2071…if we live that long as a nation.

Next: That means be present in everything you do.

If you’re at work, work.

Don’t do Fantasy Football or other bullshit.

Actually, work.

What you’ll find is you don’t have to stay late to get shit done if you actually focus…

Which means you can get home on time and be present with your family.

Remember them?

The people you tell other people “They’re the reason I work so hard!”

Yeah, right.

Save it for your 20/20 interview.

You goof off at work, so you have to stay late to try to get something meaningful done then you…

swing by the bar, where you’re an expert at goofing off, you know, to “blow off some steam,” then you…

finally get home in time to grab a plate and plop your fat, half-drunk ass on the couch as you…

catch the final few innings of the game as your kids and wife disappear into the four corners of the house with their faces buried in their devices, then you…

might tell them goodnight, and you…

might see them for a minute in the morning, and you…

pound coffee, rush off to work, and do it all over again.

How’s that working out for you?

You need to accept responsibility for whatever is going wrong in your spiritual, familial, physical, and financial worlds and have the discipline to take massive action to make it right.

You know I’m right.

You have time to make things right.

Advent is a great time to “Prepare a way for the Lord, make his paths straight!”

You just don’t have a lot of time.

Now get to it. (You know what “it” is for you.)

Stay the course.Keep the faith.Endure.

Now go sell something.